Friday, September 12, 2008

Love Is Faithful

God teaches us things in amazing ways, doesn't He? Today, He taught me two lessons, one at sunrise and one in darkness.

This morning, my little son got up. He was not ready to be up, his body exhausted from too little rest, but he was awake nonetheless. I picked him up, admonished him to be quiet since the girls were still sleeping, and my boy slung his delicate 2 year old arm around my neck, clutching his stuffed dog tightly in the other arm. I brought him downstairs and we settled into the sofa to snuggle.

And what did my monster do? He fell asleep. I didn't realize it right away, but I heard him snore softly, and felt him turn his torso so he was snuggled in the warm space between my waist and my arm. I kept thinking about all the work I needed to be doing, but my son quieted all of that in me with his sweet little boyness and his sweeter smell. Ten minutes passed, and I just couldn't sit there unmoving any longer. He was somewhat incensed (still asleep) that I needed to move, but he decided to roll over onto his tummy and lay across my legs, using hos doggy as a pillow. And so for half an hour, until I absolutely HAD to get the girls up, my boy and I rested.

I delighted in him, in his sweetness, in his insistence that he needed me, and that no one else would do. I love that my son showed me exactly what my Father God wants ME to do more; come to Him first, and simply rest. Just rest. Take a siesta in His lap, let Him scratch my back and stroke my hair while I cling tightly to my mangy old dog (baggage? Who said I have mangy, flea-ridden baggage?).

Tonight I needed to run over to a friend's house to drop off a stroller for their trip to Disney World tomorrow, and while I was out, I realized that it's starting to get dark so much sooner (I left the house at 8:45). I drove by a h.u.g.e Baptist church, one that I've only been to once for an Easter egg hunt, whose steeple was brightly lit from the road.

I was so grateful to see that huge cross. It was half-hidden by trees for a time, but I caught a glimpse of it full on, in all its (earthly, broken) glory. I came to realize that in a world as scary as this, with every abomination and fear and injustice, that there is still the Cross, and that's where I find my home, my true North.

Jesus, You are my true North.

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