Finding Me in the Madness

*The Chubby Cheeked Monster decided to hit "Publish". Isn't he helpful? No? Well, adorable then!*

I think that I must not be a very faithful person. In the Bible, people endured l-o-n-g trials. The Isrealites in these desert, Job's redemption, Paul's long imprisonments that eventually led to his death.

Mine? Short. It doesn't so much feel like grace as it does "well, she can't handle much, so We won't push her too far". Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, but it leaves me longing for a maturity that I'm not gaining, and the reason is clear. I'm not spending my time in the Word. Not dialed in at church and small group (small group is a whole separate post), never take 20 minutes to just hang out with God and let Him talk to me about whatever is on His mind.

A friend of mine who is a missionary in a Muslim country starts his days off by asking, "God, what are you doing today? Can I tag along?". That is wisdom. I absolutely need to start doing that. Today I started by putting one of my Bibles beside my bed to read while the kids sleep in the morning. I've purposed to start every day reading Proverbs.

Anyhow, the Music Man came home with roses yesterday, and it totally broke the angry spirit I was living in. By the grace of God, I asked him to sit with me on the sofa and talk. A good long conversation led to some constructive ideas on how we can work out the problem and then immediately putting one of them into practice. It was kairos, sacred time. We're still light years away from where we need to be, and getting it right once doesn't even come close to addressing the problem, but he took the initiative to make things better yesterday, and that meant a lot to me.

In the book Love and Respect (which I highly recommend), Emerson Eggerich talks about how women primarily need love, and men primarily need respect. Her respect fosters his love, which provokes her respect, and round and round we go. It really does work.

So Music Man and I got at least a little resolution, and I got my tomatoes and peppers into the ground. I'll call it a successful day.