Tuesday, April 21, 2009


So there's this quality of God that is so wonderful to me, that "He is" (hence the tattoo). He's constant. He can't help but be who He is because, well, that's His nature. He is good, so good. So holy, so amazing, so wonderful (thank you, Ransomed Grace, for this homework. It's speaking for me right now). :)

But me? I'm not so constant. In fact, the sails of my little emotional ship have been all over the place today. Ransomed Grace and I have actually touched on this a bit, this whole being emotion-led thing. Allow me to illustrate.

Sunday, I was talking to someone after church. This person loves me. We haven't known each other for a super long time, but we're in relationship, and it's good. She and I chatted for a few minutes, she was hanging out with one of my babes for a bit, just general goodness. Right? I'm working on a project and needed some feedback, so I asked said friend about it. She got back to me, and I was glad to see that, but the response felt a bit brusque. Well thought out, but not generally as warm a response as I'd get from her. So what did I allow to happen to my emotional state?

Well, it's not as though I was angry, and I wasn't sad. But I did start to think about what happened both Sunday and yesterday and wonder if there was something that I said or did that made her feel like I was being pushy, or if maybe I had misread something and she only SORTA loved me, like it would change with whichever way the wind blew.

Tonight as I was getting ready to have my quiet time, I reread the message I got from her earlier. And thereit was, right at the end. The little affirmation that I had been missing, the one that told me I was still loved. It was before my eyes all the time, I just didn't see it for whatever reason.

Besides being humbled and realizing just how much I had let this affect my little heart all afternoon, I figured this out. She had been loving me all day. Nothing happened between yesterday and today that changed her heart toward me. While I was being blown about by the winds, she was constant.

It's a good lesson, yes? A lesson about building my house upon the Rock. A lesson about the character of God, and therefore the character of people who love God and seek to be transformed into the image of Christ.

Whose love don't I trust, then? That of the Great I Am? Hers? Mine? All of the above? I'll let you know once I figure it out.

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