Break Me Down

Sensitive. Have you ever been called the "sensitive" one? In our culture, it has such a negative connotation. I remember being told that I was too sensitive from early on. And the truth of the matter was that I was, and still am. I have a really precious friend, Prisoner of Hope, who is this way too and, because I don't want her to connote her heart with something so negative, I've taken to calling her "tender". And I think this is really a better descriptor.

These days, my heart is feeling really tender, too. I wake up exhausted emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The cry of my heart has been the lyrics of the Tenth Avenue North song, "Break Me Down". For so many years I've hardened and protected this heart from the barrage of heartache in the world. Now, years of building tidal waves seem to be crashing over me, and I'm just trying to hang on. I know that after a while things will get easier, especially as I allow the balm of Gilead to pour into these cracked places. But for now, it hurts. I want to be the sort of woman that runs to the Lord when things get hard, but this feels like it's a long process of hurt and surrender for me.

Tonight I meet with Ransomed Grace, and while I'm excited, I'm anticipating hard work and perhaps tears. I don't cry in front of people much, and especially virtual strangers (though this stranger already loves me, I remind myself). Without further ado, here's my anthem

Break Me Down by Tenth Avenue North

Yeah, I feel You fallin'
Like the rain against my skin
And I hear You calling
Your voice like thunder in my head
But now I am stallin'
Cuz I'm afraid to let you in
Yeah, come break me down with Your mercy
Come break me down again

I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours, You can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down
Won't You break me

(Won't You break me down, breaking me down)

I feel it inside me
I feel You underneath my skin
These walls could not hide me
They could not keep You from coming in
So now here You find me
Right back to where I began
Oh, come break me down with Your mercy
Come break me down again

I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours. You can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down
Won't You break me down

(break me down, oh oh, come and break me down)

Cuz I need your strength to feel this weak
I need your touch to fill my need
I need your strong hands to carry me
Take me, break me, set me free

Cuz I need your strength to feel this weak
I need your touch to fill my need
I need your strong hands to carry me
Take me, bring me to my knees

I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours. You can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down
Come and break me down
Come and break me down
Yeah, won't You break me down