Saturday, September 12, 2009


Ok, so I still don't know if I'm going to Russia or staying home (or if the whole trip is going to happen). We have a meeting tomorrow and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about it. However, God is teaching me some things in the waiting. He's teaching me Who I can always rely on. He's showing me some areas of my emotions that are not healed. This situation has completely exploded, and my stuff, Ransomed Grace's stuff, and the other woman's stuff (we'll call her Freedom) are all touching each other. Actually, I shouldn't say touching. That sounds gentle. Our stuff is all rubbing and scraping and bruising and crashing into each other. It hurts, and it's icky, and I think we all feel pretty defiled at this point.

I'll be interested to see what comes out of the meeting, since it's one of those things that could be a real turning point for the team. I'm hoping that it's redemptive and that I'll be able to express my heart about everything that's going on. I want RG (and the rest of us, but mostly her) to feel at peace with whatever decision is made.

Last night I went to the prophetic time at a local church I enjoy. I got some prophecy that said something I'd never heard about myself before this week. Wednesday night I was told that I have the ability to change the energy in a room, both for good and for bad. Last night, that was confirmed by a stranger, so I'm trying to see what it means to really walk that out. In the meantime, I need to really check myself and my attitude!

This morning in my quiet time, I feel like God brought me to my life verse, which is Micah 6:8,
"He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God."

He told me that in this situation I have NOT acted justly. I have NOT loved mercy. I have NOT walked humbly with Him. It brought me to my knees, this not fulfilling the verse that God gave me to live my life by.

I'll update after tomorrow, praying there will be calm resolution, resolution that leaves all seven of us with peace and certainty that this is God's will!

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