I gave birth on Wednesday. For some unknown reason, my body pushed out my gestating babe, only 8 weeks developed. It happened in the usual way, I suppose. I started to bleed a bit, dealt with some severe cramping, and she was gone within hours. My grape-sized fetus held life-sized potential to her mama. I never got to see that little one, never got to hold her. I didn't get to give her a proper burial. Instead, she was washed away with all of the other waste I care not to think about.
And I wonder things, like did she hurt as she died? Did the angels rejoice to get my girl back after such a short time away? Did she get to hear the words upon her return that I've always wanted to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant"?
I miss her acutely. I mourn the loss of who she would have been, who I'll never know that she was. I just miss her.
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About Me
- heather
- I'm a mom to four little ones : the five-year-old firecracker princess, the four-year-old chubby cheeked monster, the two-year-old joyful babe, and the brand new radiant one. I'm married to a guy who is becoming more and more the man he wants to be, and have three cats who think they own the place.
I Am His
4 comments:
Oh, Heather, I'm so sad for you. Murky waters indeed. Praying for much peace for you & your family.
Oh, Heather. I just read this. I want you to know I love you very, very much! You know that God has been speaking to you very clearly lately through His promise in Jeremiah 29:11. Hold on to this promise with confidence that He has a plan and a purpose... plans for your welfare and for your future to be filled with hope. I will keep you all in my prayers.
i am so sorry to read this and to imagine how painful it must have been (and still is) for you. may God comfort you during this time.
Heather -- I'm so sorry to read this (especially so belatedly). I'm praying for healing for you and your family.
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