Miscarriage

I gave birth on Wednesday. For some unknown reason, my body pushed out my gestating babe, only 8 weeks developed. It happened in the usual way, I suppose. I started to bleed a bit, dealt with some severe cramping, and she was gone within hours. My grape-sized fetus held life-sized potential to her mama. I never got to see that little one, never got to hold her. I didn't get to give her a proper burial. Instead, she was washed away with all of the other waste I care not to think about.

And I wonder things, like did she hurt as she died? Did the angels rejoice to get my girl back after such a short time away? Did she get to hear the words upon her return that I've always wanted to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant"?

I miss her acutely. I mourn the loss of who she would have been, who I'll never know that she was. I just miss her.